10 things i learned in a german hospital*

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

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1. Nurses are angels; literally sent to Earth from the heavens.  How do they have so much patience?  I wanted to befriend all of mine.

2. When it comes to needles, it’s mind over matter, Jennifer.  Mind over matter.

3. When it comes to swallowing horse pills, however, “mind over matter” accomplishes nothing.  In fact, I would rather birth triplets than swallow horse pills with every meal (though I have concluded the best method - for me, at least - is manually shoving the pill down my throat; works every time).

4.  When your mom can’t be in the hospital with you, having her call your cell hourly really is the next best thing.

5. Missing work is fun…..for the first couple of days.  After 2 weeks, not so much.

6. Never again will I ever take showering for granted.

7. If I have a Harry Potter book in hand, life is good.  Escaping to my favorite wizarding world is arguably just as effective pain medicament as that liquid happiness they send flowing through the IV.  Ahhh, that stuff is good.

8. My childhood dream of having a cast to prance around in was stupid.  Casts are dumb.

9. Just because a woman is over the age of 75, it does not mean she is as sweet as your grandmother.  It so does not mean that.  It actually couldn’t mean that any less (can you tell I had a very bad experience with my 80 year old roommate?).  Oh, and whose idea was it to stick 3 people in a tiny hospital room, anyway?  #iamaspoiledamericancanyoutell?

10.   If you have a cyst on your hand and you ignore it (per dermatologist’s recommendation, mind you) , it very well could explode!  And your hand will most likely swell, swell, swell.  And the doctors will most likely have to cut that hand open so the bones won’t break from the swelling.  And you might develop a cyst-related infection which causes you to vomit your life away.  And so you’ll live in the hospital for awhile.  And that’s how it all begins.  (I’m still in the process of figuring out how it ends, but don’t be fooled by my dramatic account; everything will be fine….I think).

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*Post inspired by Miss A and Heidi , who recently ‘tagged’ me in the “Tell us some facts about yourself!” game. 

27 comments:

Sophie said...

I totally believe that Harry Potter will get you through any hard time! I love him and Ron and Hermione!
And YES casts are the worst! i had one when i was 10 haha, but it was the height of a really really hot sydney summer and it was torture! i still remember! x

Jenny said...

wow...what an ordeal. Glad you are better though!
And it's true, Harry Potter will cure what ails you and hospital roommates are really a crapshoot. (don't even ask me about the fully mobile lady who kept pooping in her bed)

Jenny said...

haha, crapshoot...i didn't even mean to make that funny.

Jan said...

I agree with you totally on the nurses - they truly are angels!! And the needles - they really aren't any big deal. If you could just get over taking pills - you'd have it made for life!!!

Brissa said...

yeaaahhh...wanting a cast as a kid and finally getting one in college is a bad joke the universe LOVES to pull. i can't imagine how magical your harry potter experience must have been with drugs. i'm might just have to break something just so i can try it...

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohh you poor thing...I hope you will feel better soon. I totally agree with the showers part..haha
Hugs and kisses, darling

P.S: I'm hosting an awesome Organic cosmetics Giveaway later today! Perfect for a summer glowy skin:)

Becca said...

1. I am sorry you had to go through this

2. but it's totally hilarious so for my sake I'm glad.
laughter gives you a long life, right?

Inessa said...

I love the cast part I had the same dream but no cast to fulfill that dream, so as an adult now I do not want it at all! Old people get cranky in hospitals I can tell you that from many visits to the hospital these past few months to visit my hubbies grandmother, some of them get right down and nasty!! Glad you are healing despite all the madness!

Brenna [fabuleuxdestin] said...

That sucks - I had a cyst on my wrist and had to have surgery to get it removed! AH why are cysts so weird and evil! I am glad you made it out of there !!!

Holly said...

I'm sorry, I hope everything goes up from here! I had a cyst in my finger as a child, but it went away.
Oh and I love your blog! I'm jealous you live and lived in all these crazy cool places.

Ashley said...

Haha! I'm sorry you had to experience all of this, but the list is hilarious. :) And, yes, HP makes everything a little better. :)

Charlotte said...

Is it legal to make a cast look that cute? Pretty sure it's not. Loved the list...especially the childhood prance around thing. I felt the same way about braces. Dumb.

Alena: Oh, It's Just Perfect! said...

Oh no!! Thank goodness for sweet nurses. Feel better!!

Kathrine said...

I'm so glad you feel better now and that the worst is over...!
Stay safe and relax the best way you can!
Lots of kisses, hugs and positive energy!
xoxo

lady lyles said...

ah!!! your blog looks so grown up! i feel a tear forming.

Sandy a la Mode said...

oh no! i am so sorry to hear you had to go to the hospital~~ hope u get well soon!!

wishful nals said...

ouch! hope you're feeling better. xo

charmingly ordinary said...

#1, #2, and #6...all the same sentiments I had while/after giving birth. And hospitals are really no fun, none of them.

Rebecca at Cotton+Wood said...

Wow! That is crazy! And yes, we are very, very spoiled here in America with our health care. That is....until 2015...or whenever it is that the new health care law takes affect.

Renée said...

ooh poor girl! xo

TexaGermaNadian said...

So glad you had great nurses. THey really do make it an ok experience if you have angelic ones :) Hope you are feeling better by now, and all showered up, lol.

Nuha said...

oh my goodness!! I hope you feel better ASAP!! I hope it's nothing serious :-s

Tucker said...

thanks for filling us in jenni! i was worried about you.

can i sign your cast when we meet?

nova said...

Aw, casts are stupid, aren't they? You should get a sharpie and do this:

http://novaisawesome.tumblr.com/post/5630150676

At least it'll look cool.

Chelsea said...

Weellll…Auto Loans commented on my post yesterday… again. It made me laugh, and then I thought immediately of you and Sarah :)

Also- I almost collided with a car yesterday, switching lanes…. We BOTH wanted the middle Lane. They won, but I got a good HONK in. So scary!

Mighty Burns said...

lol awww no. see your the only person who could make this sound funny

Mandy said...

Aaaw you poor thing, I hope you feel better now! Hugs from The Netherlands! X MENNEPEN