Conversations with a Polish boy, part 5.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011





me: these grapes taste disgusting. do not eat them.
him: oh, that's because they are too young. wait until they get a little older. then you can eat them.
(language barrier? what language barrier?)

me: fisiu expects to be carried everywhere. how can a dog be so spoiled?
him: jenni, fisiu is old. please think about that next time before you judge him.
(i cannot stress to you how serious he was when he said this to me.)

(speaking of fisiu....)
piotr: fisiu only throw ups because my mom feeds him meat.
me: no, he throws up.
him: i know, he throw ups because my mom feeds him meat and he is almost 15 years old....he can't handle that kind of food anymore.
me: piotr, he throws up because your mom feeds him meat, not -
him: i know. he throw ups every time...that's what i just said....you're not listening.

him: would you like to have jajecznica (scrambled eggs) for dinner?
me: sure. actually, can you take a piece of toast and cut out the middle part and then fry an egg in the middle?
him: what? how am i supposed to do that? just, like, with a knife?
me: no, a biscuit cutter. or the top of a glass.
him: what's a biscuit cutter?
me: what you use to cut biscuits. oh! you should make biscuits.
him: why would you ever eat biscuits with eggs?
me: nooooo, not cookies. stop knowing british english. in american english, "biscuits" are different. they are so good. they're like, really warm and soft and floury and my sister makes the best kind with cheese and actually, i made some really good biscuits last week with yogurt. oh my gosh - they were so good, piotr.
{silence}
him: so.....how do scrambled eggs sound?
me: sounds great.
(it's okay, wasn't really expecting to win that battle anyway.)

him: hey, is it true that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues?
me: excuse me?
him: i've heard that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues.
me: who'd you hear that from?
him: barney stinson.
(i have no response to this one.)

me: could you please not roll your eyes so much when you're talking to me? it's hard to take you seriously because you look really funny when you do it.
him: it's something i've done my whole life when i'm annoyed with people, i can't stop now. no one else has ever had a problem with it.
me: your whole life, really? even when you were younger and your parents were scolding you about something, you'd roll your eyes at them?
him: yeah, is that weird?
me: well....i just know that in my country, rolling your eyes while someone else is talking to you is very disrespectful.
him: oh, in my country, it's not. in poland, it's kinda like saying "i don't agree with what you're telling me, but i respect your opinion anyway".
(yeah, i'm sure that's what it means in poland.)

(fyi: many girls in poland are named 'blueberry' - the polish word for blueberry, that is).
me: cherry yogurt or blueberry yogurt?
him: cherry.
me: you never choose blueberry.
him: well, if your ex-girlfriend was named blueberry, you'd choose the cherry yogurt too, now wouldn't you?

aaaaaaaand i leave you with that.

50 comments:

Megan said...

i love this...you always crack me up!

my boyfriend's norwegian and you don't know how many of our conversations begin with him saying "i have a question mark?". LOL...i love these kinds of posts :-)

Eva @ Four Leaf Clover said...

Yay! My favorite series! Glad I could help out. :)

Girls in Poland are named Jagodi or something? Huh... I'm learning new things about Poland from you, ha!

Also... I think he's actually right about the rolling your eyes thing (maybe minus the respect part..). I never rolled my eyes and was really confused in America when I started hearing that phrase all the time.

Jamie @ charmingly ordinary said...

OMGEEEE. Your conversations with Piotr kill me. Please, please, please keep posting them!!!

Jenni Austria Germany said...

@ Eva, Well, he has 3 friends named jagoda so....i assume it's normal? I'm starting to think maybe he just knows really weird people.....when he first told me he dated a girl named blueberry, i imagined the blueberry girl (aka veruca salt) from willy wonka. different girl, though.

Alex said...

These are always my fave!
I hope you have learned not to judge eldery dogs...

Danielle said...

Hahahahaha these crack me up! Language differences are awesome. One time in Spain, I said "chicken boobs" instead of "chicken breast"...my professor laughed for like 10 mins. So embarrassing!

Anonymous said...

My favorite series too! Everyone loves it. :) yay Maybe it will become a weekly thing?

xoxo jen

Ashley said...

I laughed pretty hard over the daddy issues :) hahaha.

Gentri said...

Hahahaha! I love these posts :) so much!!

Inessa said...

these are hilarious I love the scrambled egg one the most. Let him know the toast with the egg in the middle is called a one eyed jack. A fave of mine to make and enjoy anytime of the day, yumm!

Holly said...

oh my gosh, you crack me up with these conversations. so. much.

p.s. i love the egg in the middle of toast! love love love it!

Brooke said...

How fun!! :) I love these as always!

Charlotte said...

I cannot fully express how much I love these.

You dog judger you...

:-D

Young People in Love said...

BHAHAHAHA amazing.

ashley in wonderland said...

i love this post too much. we must get together!

Tucker said...

ummmm can we please talk about blueberry being a name for girls... amazzzzing.

also really like his barney stinson. cause he knows all.

Eva @ Four Leaf Clover said...

I am so glad my parents didn't name me that. Can you imagine me explaining that to people in America? According to my parents, that name is quite popular so I'm just not in the know. Last names, though... I've heard my fair share of crazy Polish last names. I love your Willy Wonka comparision, hah!

Nuha said...

hahaha I LOVE reading these!!

Mackenzie said...

hahahahaha holy moly. the egg conversation made me nearly fall over in my chair. brilliant.

Mikelle Jade {The Honeypie Archives} said...

haha i love the ones about rolling eyes and blueberry. That's so weird that rolling eyes means something completely different over there!

funny stuff. for sure.

magdalena said...

haha jagoda? it's from jadwiga ;)
you guys are so funny/cute

Jenni Austria Germany said...

No, no, no....he has fooled you all. Rolling your eyes means the exact same thing there as it does here. He's just being a little brat.

Brissa said...

aaaahahaha. these are some of my favorite posts. that barney stinson bit was genius. my brother just got hooked on that show and loves it. SO GOOD.

Maggy said...

this was fantastic, I vote for more!

e.day said...

hahahahahaha. i just love these little things. can you make this a weekly feature? i die.

the barney stinson one is my new fave. piotr is my hero.

Candice said...

these posts are such gems! Girls named blueberry...that's...cute? :)
throw ups hahah great stuff.

Abby said...

hahahaha these are my favourite posts!

Jenny said...

I looove these. And the last one is definitely my favorite.

wilybrunette said...

i want this printed out and placed on my wall of wonder. because. it. is. amazing. hilarious and amzing. yup, daddy issues, indeed.

kimbirdy said...

these are always such funny posts! what a great sense of humor you two have. adorable!

Sera said...

i cannot tell you how much i love these conversation posts. you guys are hilarious. like really, somebody should make a movie about you two.

Diana Mieczan said...

hahah..the last one is so funny..I totally get it because of the name Jagoda:) You both are adorable. Kisses, sweetie

Ps: I’m hosting a great sportswear GIVEAWAY today! Perfect for morning yoga practice!

Sophie said...

hahhha ahhhh i am in love with these lil convos! the barney stinson one is fricken hilarious! you guys are just awesome! x

jackiek said...

hahahaha these posts are my FAVORITE. love the blueberry line. that's actually hysterical.

Megan said...

these serious crack me up.

1. yes. american girls usually have daddy issues.
2. i tried to explain american biscuits on MULTIPLE occasions..mainly in reference to how KFC in america has mac n cheese, mashed potatos and biscuits for sides...then i have to explain what biscuits are..

"like pancakes?"

no

"like scones?"

no, like biscuits.

GOSH.

Megan said...

that should of read, this series..but something happened and my brain shut down and these serious came out instead.

Jamie Pilgrim said...

"him: hey, is it true that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues?
me: excuse me?
him: i've heard that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues.
me: who'd you hear that from?
him: barney stinson."

Bahaha BY FAR my favorite!

kimberly rae said...

ohmygoooddd!! can you write a pilot for a sitcome, PLEASE!! this stuff is gold!!!! hiiilarious! its very rare that i actual laugh out loud at a blog post, and then throw my back like jolly st nick, but that is the response this post inspired in me! muahahah!

katrina said...

bahahaha i cannot even tell you how much i love this. you both are too cute.

arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

haha...oh my, this is too cute! :) love these!

Saara said...

You have now managed to make me a freak at work. I read this:

him: hey, is it true that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues?
me: excuse me?
him: i've heard that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues.
me: who'd you hear that from?
him: barney stinson.

And I started laughing so hard that everyone in my office stopped what they were doing and started to stare at me. Then I couldn't stop with the rest of the text and I just laughed and laughed.

I couldn't admit it was a blog I was reading at worktime so I said "These milliseconds in this signal are just so funny". It was the only thing that came to my mind (?) and now I am THE freak. Thanks :)

Krystal said...

i'm dying, these are so funny!

Chelsea said...

YAY i love when you post conversation. hahah so great

Jill said...

I don't think I've ever commented on your blog, but I've been reading it for a while. Seriously your conversations with a Polish boy crack me up...I really makes me wish my husband's first language wasn't English...just to make things a little more interesting!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious! I think these are my favorite posts you do. The Barney Stinson one seriously had me crying!

As a sidenote...I just commented on one of your older blogs....but I didn't know you went to OSU! I'm an alum and I swear I loved every minute there! Go Pokes! :)

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

Erin said...

I love these conversations with the language and culture differences. Learning about American women from Barney Stinson was the highlight of this post!

Jan said...

Ha, he's so funny. I loved the one about the grapes being too young. And the one about his dog!!!

nova said...

Aw, I wish my name were blueberry.

Cloie's mom said...

Love it all!!

Karen said...

This is just beyond awesome :) The Barney Stinson one just had me crying with laughter. Scrap that, they all had me crying with laughter.