what NOT to do when skiing in austria.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

blog ski4 yes
{skiing in Mühlbach am Hochkönig, 44 miles south of Salzburg}

1.  You probably shouldn’t wear a black leotard beneath your ski apparel.  I can understand the appeal in creating a Beyonce-inspired winter look, but trust me, it’s not very practical.  Not that I would know from experience.
2.  When you ride the bus from the city to the mountain, don’t get distracted and exit the bus one stop too soon.  Running after the bus while carrying your ski equipment and shouting, “Halt, Halt!” while trying to pull up the pants that are too big around your waist isn’t as fun as one might think.  Also, it puts you at risk for leotard-exposure.  Not that that’s ever happened to me.
3.  Some chairlifts in Austria look like this.  Others resemble an apple-shaped cage, into which you awkwardly climb after detaching your skis and storing them in the outer compartment of the cage along with your poles.  When the chairlift stops ascending and you’ve reached the top of the mountain, don’t expect to find a  downward-sloping ramp awaiting you upon exiting this cage-like contraption.  There is no downward-sloping ramp!  This isn’t Crested Butte, Monarch, Loveland or Taos!  There’s just a flat ramp – which isn’t very rampy at all – meaning you’ll have to use your poles to gain momentum, as the flat platform you step out onto provides none.  So when it comes time to exit that little cage, you should open the cage door, reach outside of the cage, grab your skis, throw them onto the non-slope, step into them, grab your poles and use them to ski away.  Do not stand there awkwardly, confused by the lack of slope, because the ever-moving chairlift will hit your backside, you will fall to the ground, you will have to roll away stop-drop-and-roll style so as to prevent bumping your head on the chairlift (which is nearly impossible to do with skis on your feet and poles in your hands) and you will feel very embarrassed.  Not that I’ve ever done such a thing.


{but do arrive after noon, if possible.  many ski resorts offer a half-price discount later on in the day!}

17 comments:

Lottie said...

I am glad you have filled me in on these things as I have never been skiing before, but think I can't put it off any longer, and I can imagine I would probably have done all these things.

But its noce to know there are like minded people around

Nikskie said...

i'll remember this ;p

debbiecutieface.com said...

I love Austria. I'd love to go in the winter sometime, when it's all snowy and beautiful.

meg said...

Sounds like a wonderful time! Especially the stop-drop-and-rolling onto the non-sloped ramp. Why would that ever exist?

Brittany said...

This is hysterical.

Brissa said...

thanks for the tips. i'll make sure to back my leotard next time i hit up the slopes in austria.
sidenote: i had a dream last night and you were in it. it was one of the weirdest dreams ever. but there was a house and you were moving out of the attic room (it was the coolest room with the coolest windows ever) and some girl named brittany wanted it. brad pitt was also in my dream....

Alyx said...

Ahahaha, this was fantastic. I was definitely imagining the whole running after the bus with your skis and your saggy pants thing, and laughing my butt off, because it looked hilarious in my brain, as I'm sure it did in real life.

Maria said...

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha. This has just made my day. Sounds like you had an interesting time skiing!

Casey said...

Awesomeness. I totally feel ya on the ski lift confusion. I went skiing in St. Johann im Pongau, Austria two weekends ago and had my first encounter with a button lift. Insanity! The poor lift conductor had to literally put the contraption between my legs himself because I am THAT idiotic when it comes to getting up a mountain. So embarrassing. Glad I'm not the only one with Austrian ski problems! :)

Maya said...

I love your blog and these pictures are amazing! :)

Check out my blog, I always follow back my lovely readers :)
http://mayasfashioncorner.blogspot.com/

Xoxo, Maya <3

AbbieBabble said...

Alas! Aren't we lucky to have you to guide us in the ways of austrian skiing. Even with the mishaps, it looks like it was lovely. (And your outfit looks totally adorable, too.)

fraeuleincaroline said...

I love this picture of you. It was so great when the boys were always gone skiing. I liked their "jump" they made in front of the blaue Gebauede....I miss it dearly

Barbara said...

You are making me mega jealous with this post!
P.S. that is totally something that would happen to me with the chairlift.

claire said...

aha! but as you obviously know all these things not to do you'll be fine eh? x

Alex Butts said...

haha should've seen this before my trip a few weeks ago. But seriously, skiing is so different in Austria. Where were all the clearly marked slopes and levels? Because I found myself on things way above my level.

nova said...

The only time I ever went skiing in my life was on a school trip in grade five...my first chairlift to the bunny slope halfway up the smallest hill, my jacket got stuck on the chair. They had to stop the entire lift which made all my classmates angry and I was so humiliated I've never been back.

Renee said...

This makes me want to go skiing ASAP! And it also makes me wish I was with you to witness these things that never happened! ;)